I love this song ( Over It by Anneliese Van der Pol) and this video is cute!
Remember the boy I wrote about in my last post....well, guess what? No, don't guess, it's not good: I was right, of course he likes some other girl. :( Why do I always happen to be in this situation?! I don't think it's ever been this bad either, I've been having this awful feeling in my chest for the past few days/weeks, I guess that's probably stress (anxiety attacks?), but this doesn't help. I talked to him a little more on Facebook....which is rather unlike me. If you told me a year or 2 ago,or even a couple months ago that'd I'd randomly talk to some boy I liked a few times, instead of doing nothing like I would have usually done, I'd think you were nuts! Now that I think about it, OH MY GOD!, did I really just semi-throw myself at some sort of random guy on facebook? Seriously, who am I? Haha, Never again! No one I know would believe me if I told them about all of this nonsense...it's that uncharacteristically odd for me. (I may have way overused the the Facebook feature that lets you hide posts from certain people lately...almost half the people I know...lol!) Then again, some of them may have stalked my blog and read that post...but oh well. I don't care anymore. I've deleted most of what I posted directed to him anyway...I'm not even gonna tell you guys, sorry...it's embarrassing! There were quotes (Shakespeare, etc) involved, songs, other random things I wrote, things written in Italian (there's not too many people I know on facebook that know Italian at all and we had Italian class together...how many other people could I have been talking to?) Maybe I've lost my mind, or a few insecuritiess, whatever, I'm kind of glad I did it even though it didnt work out, I think? When I tell you guys I'm shy (around boys in particular) I'm not kidding, so this was a major step/deal for me. Though I didn't really think I'd be lucky enough for him to like me back, I couldnt help but wish and have a little hope that he would. Stupid dreamer/romantic in me...I blame the many many Disney movies and romantic comedies I've watched! Haha!
Sometimes something good does come out of unfortunate things though. As I was liking cute songs and posts on this guy's Facebook, I came across an old friend (that makes me sound so old!), a girl I knew in elementary school. We were really good friends from sometime in elementary school until about tenth grade. She just happens to now be best friends with the boy I'm talking about (life is so damn funny!) and I thought for a little while they were dating but they're not, just good friends. They're both great people. Anyway, I had a nice/interesting conversation with this girl and it made me feel a little better. That is until she told me he has a thing for some other girl, but that's not her fault, at least she was nice about it. I wasn't shocked, kinda expected it, but it still crushed me. She's a good friend so she wouldn't tell me who it is (I had to ask though, couldn't help it!) Apparently it's possible to be jealous of a girl whose name I don't even know. I'll just have to pretend it doesn't kill me until this awful feeling goes away, hopefully. I wish him well though, he's still a sweet guy.
I thought maybe I should unfriend him on Facebook...but I couldn't....it would seem mean and I cant do it...and truthfully I dont want to. And of course lately he "liked" some of my posts, which I know is just him being nice or agreeing with whatever I said...but it makes me think about him and kills me all over again! Uggh!, I don't want to forget about him, but why is he doing that if he knows I like him but he doesn't like me back...just to taunt me or be nice? Ha! (He has to know, the amount of hints I threw at him is ridiculous....and even if he somehow missed them all, that friend of mine/his must have told him...I think?) Time to stop! It's not going to be easy, if I've had a crush on him for the past 2 years and a few months....how am i just supposed to just turn it off? I have a tendency to get over things very slowly (totally liked the same boy from kindergarten through 6th grade! lol!). Some habits don't die. I guess it'd be easier of I totally ignored him and tried to stop thinking about him. On the other hand, I don't really want to for obvious reasons.... Oh well, I'll just keep pretending to be over it until I am. Ya, sure, that'll work, maybe?
Music helps a little :)
"Someone Like You" by Adele
This is one of the most beautiful/sad songs ever!
"That's What You Get" by Paramore
"I still try holding on to silly things, I never learn."
"That's what you get when you let your heart win! I drowned out all my sense with the sound of it's beating."
"Beautiful" by Eminem (explicit)
This doesn't have much to do with anything, I just love Eminem, always makes me feel better! :)
"Dear Agony" by Breaking Benjamin
"If I Can't Have You" by Kelly Clarkson
Somewhat more upbeat song than the others, lol!
"Dreaming with a Broken Heart" by John Mayer
Just because John Mayer's adorable and I love his dreamy voice :)
"The Breakdown" by Alexz Johnson
"Fu** You/Gonna Get Over You" Sara Bareilles (explicit)
"Fairytale" by Sara Bareilles
"Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight"
Okay, I'm finally done talking about this now. Thanks for reading/following! Comment below if you'd like. :) Also, my laptop (with all my pictures,etc. on it) is still! being fixed, so I'll go back to posting outfits and stuff when I get it back, hopefully tomorrow. Love you guys!
P.S. The "Ciao" in the title is meant to mean "goodbye" not hello.