It was a bright and beautiful Saturday afternoon. It was winter; the sky was a lovely and enchanting bluish-gray, and there were tiny snowflakes falling slowly from the few clouds scattered across the sky. Lola had spent most of the day being excited about and getting ready to see Wally, her boyfriend of the past few months. She tried very hard not to seem so needy and desperate to see him, but she had been having trouble disguising her emotions lately, particularly around him. This was strange for her because she tended to be the kind of girl who was very good at concealing the fact that she liked a guy. She had grown quite tired of it over the years. Something was different with Wally; she did not want to hide her feelings from him, even though she had a terrifying fear of rejection based on years of liking boys who had never returned her affections, though most of them had no idea she liked them anyway. She was not usually one to go after a guy; she had usually waited around for them to pursue her. This was new and different though. She wanted to see Wally and talk to him all the time, even though she was a little shy. She had not seen him in about a week, which does not sound like a very long time, but to her it felt like months. Maybe she was being a little overdramatic but she did not care. Every time she would go a while without seeing him and start to miss him, it would remind her of the time not so long ago that she had missed him without knowing if she would ever see him again. She tried not to think about that time, for it made her sad, but once in a while, when she was missing him, those thoughts would sneak into her mind. She knew now that he did love her and would not be leaving, but she had always been a worrier.
She woke up that morning hours before she needed to, so she would have time to choose an outfit that would make her feel confident and hopefully one in which Wally would think she looked beautiful. She also needed time to fix her long thick hair and put on her makeup. As she put on her favorite pink lipstick, she could not help but imagine the last time she had kissed Wally. It was magical, even though he always made her a little nervous. It was not because he did anything or that he scared her or anything, in fact he made her feel so happy whenever he was near. She just loved him so much that she was somewhat paralyzed by it in a way. She would always tell herself before they would meet: “This time when I see him, I will grab him and kiss him, and then not be too shy to talk to him about absolutely everything!” Then, she would see him, all her plans would disappear, and her mind would go blank. Well, maybe blank is the wrong way to describe it because she was always thinking and over thinking about everything! Her mind would just get clouded by certain thoughts when she saw him, causing her to forget the list of things she wanted to talk to him about. She would stare into his eyes as he spoke, recording every word in her mind. As she did this her thoughts would wander and think things like: “God, I love him so much. I wonder if he thinks of me the way I think of him. What was it I wanted to say to him….I made a list somewhere…who knows? I just wish he’d grab me and hold me and kiss me right now. He’s so adorable…and I love the way he talks and says my name. Oh gosh, he’s asked me another question that’s difficult for me to answer aloud…if I do not respond he’s going to think I’m an idiot. Why can’t I answer this?…what has he asked me? Where do I want our relationship to go? Hmm…well I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to kiss him right now and always. I want his hands caressing my…everything…oh gosh, what am I thinking about, he’s waiting for me to answer…focus!” Then she would finally mutter something about how it’s a hard question to answer and that she didn’t know, feeling like she should have tried harder or that she had failed a test.
It was almost three o’clock, and she was planning to meet him at four at their local coffee shop and bookstore. She tried to think of what she could do to make herself act more comfortable and talk to him more. She had this terrifying fear that one day he would grow tired of her shyness that he had initially told her was cute and sweet, and would leave her. She could not bear the thought of letting her ridiculous lack of outgoing social skills ruin something so important to her. She did not want to let her shyness ruin what could be her fairy tale. Her prince had finally shown up, and she could not bear the thought of losing him. Lola arrived to meet him a half hour early and as she wandered around the bookshelves, her mind drifted off into a wishful daydream:
Wally arrived at Lola’s house to visit her on a lovely winter evening. Snow was softly falling behind his silhouette in her door. She opened the door, their eyes met, and he grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. He made her entirely forget that she was nervous and that she was rather inexperienced. He made her feel like she was the only girl in the world that mattered to him. They spent the rest of the evening cuddled in each other’s arms, whispering sweet words for no one else to hear in each other’s ears, and kissing like they’d been in love for years.
“Bzzzzzz!” Lola’s cell phone buzzed loudly in her purse, shocking her out of her daydream and back into reality. Slightly disappointed, she reached into her purse and checked her phone. It was a message from Wally. He would be there in five minutes, he said. She went and sat at a table, reading a book while she waited for him, trying not to lose her nerve. Shortly after, he arrived. She saw him walk towards her and as much as she swore to herself that she would not let it happen again, the sight of him made her forget and be completely unable to do and say everything she had planned. She said hello and they exchanged pleasantries. She had let it happen again…and it made her somewhat disappointed in herself. Why was it so hard for her to go after what she wanted? She had a nice time, as she always did when she spent time with him, but she still wished she had not lost her nerve and had been able to come up with more things to say to him. Although it may have been inappropriate in the middle of a public place, she wished for nothing else but for him to tell her how much he loved her, kiss her, and make her forget about what she had been so nervous. Soon, a few hours had gone by and it was time to go.
“Next time, it will happen like in my daydreams” she thought. Maybe she was being a bit too greedy. She should not have expected all her dreams to come true all at one time. At least she had found her prince; the rest would hopefully come later. She was very happy to be in love with him and though she still wanted more, she would have to wait. She had always been so patient throughout most of her life, why now was she being so impatient all of a sudden. It must be because she loves him and had never felt this way about anyone before. Hopefully, good things will come to those who wait. One day soon she would be able to talk to him without her mind being so clouded and one day the things in her daydreams would come true. She had to believe it, being such a dreamer hopefully would not fail her this time. Wally was everything she had ever wanted. As she watched him walk out the door, she smiled, and hoped they would be very happy together forever.